Anonymous asked: 

So, I’m a bigger 16 year old girl, living in a place where they only adore size 2’s. I have felt really unnoticed and ugly, knowing that I defiantly have beauty that is constantly ignored. This led to online chat rooms where guys found me to be really pretty. This was also destructive, they led me to do all sorts of things which i had never imagined id ever do. I started doing this more and more and cannot even count how many guys ive done anything online with. My grades have lowered. Many of them just use you and never talk to you again, but I always feel the need to have someone notice me, like many other teenage girls who don’t have to ask for it. I have never had a boyfriend and I honestly just feel weird. What is your word of advice?

It sounds like you know that this isn’t the path you want to go down, which means that the major issue is just realizing that you are better than that and that you are still young. You are ONLY 16. You have plenty of time to find someone that loves and appreciates you for you. Don’t go out searching for it. It will come to you. And don’t shut down because you think it won’t happen for you. Work on loving and respecting yourself and that’s when you’ll see that other people love and respect you too. Self confidence and self love makes a person irresistible. And another thing…you may think you are unnoticed, but I guarantee that there is at least one person that’s taken notice, and in a very good way. It’s not something that will always be out in the open. Be patient, young grasshopper. You’ve got years ahead of you, and while the wait may be painful, it’s worth it.

8:11 pm  •  16 January 2012

Anonymous asked: My boyfriend and I are in an LDR and have been so for 18 months. He's in college, and I'm a Junior in High School. I know you're going to think, "oh you're so young don't focus on him right now." But it isn't like that. We're literally perfect together. Our original plan was for him to complete two years of school where he lives, transfer down to a university where I live where he would finish his last two years. Well turns out..our plan won't work. He will prob. finish school there. What next?

Plain and simple…you both have to do what you feel is best for YOU individually. If the relationship is meant to be, it will withstand the bumps in the road. Now, am I saying that you’ll be together through thick and thin? Yes, but not necessarily together. Relationships are tricky, but the ones that are true, honest love, will weather the storm. There is plenty worse than mileage that a relationship can go through. :)

10:02 pm  •  14 January 2012

Anonymous asked: Do you have any advice for a big girl (or bloke in my case) wanting to walk in heels? I usually stay away from heels but I found these fantastic boots a while ago and haven't worked up the courage to walk in them because they've got a 2 1/2 inch heel on them.

I’m not much of a heels girl myself, at least not until recently. Always wobbly…but I’ve found that thicker heels are amazing, even if it is just thicker at the top so that your heel has a good base. And platforms are your best friend. Helps take pressure off of your arch and give your foot a more normal angle.

10:50 pm  •  19 December 2011

Anonymous asked: i saw the other question and was curious are you actually 450 exactly? and are you single.

I was at some point. But I have no idea how much I weigh now, though it is less than that. And yes, I’m single.

4:04 pm  •  23 September 2011

Anonymous asked: I'm a guy in a committed relationship. I love my girlfriend. But, recently I realized I may be bisexual. I don't want to have sex with another guy. Not, unless she were involved or approved. I don't want to leave her, or even really experiment with any of this. I just feel like I should tell her and I don't know how.

Let me start off my saying that there is nothing to be ashamed of. As humans, we are innately sexual beings, and we have attractions that sometimes we don’t understand or cannot explain. And just because we have an attraction does not always mean that we have to or want to act on it.

Now, if you are in a committed relationship, and your girlfriend loves you as much as you love her, then I think that you should at least share your recent discovery with her. Let her know how you’ve been feeling. She is there for you and one more ear to listen. Perhaps she’s had the same feelings. Maybe this would bring you closer, the fact that you trust her enough to share this with her. You believe in the strength of your relationship to completely open up to her.

I can’t pretend like I know that everything will work out how I just imagined. Everyone is different in their reactions to new things. But I do sincerely believe that if she loves you, regardless of her initial reaction, it will be okay.

If I were you, I’d just tell her that I wanted to do some serious talk (not necessarily just about this, but just in general) and bring up a lot of different topics that could possibly be controversial and get each other’s opinions. Then, once you feel the ice is broken, just ease it in. I don’t think just popping it on her is the right way to go about it, especially if the moment isn’t really right, so just kind of set the tone for serious talk and it should help make it a little smoother.

I hope this helped and best of luck to you. Stay positive and know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you have been feeling. It’s all natural.

11:38 am  •  28 August 2011

Anonymous asked: I asked Amber this but I will ask you too: I was wondering what your opinion would be on this. i know that the general consensus nowadays is that no one deserved to be abused or is "asking for" domestic violence.
However, when I was about 20 I was dating a severe alcoholic much older than I. One night at about three am I had had enough of his drunken bullshit/name calling so I physically grabbed the vodka bottle out of his hands and poured it down the sink. He then proceeded to throw me on the floor, hold me down by my neck, and punch the wall above my head, all while he threatened to kill or disfigure me. I held very still until he stopped. When he finally did he began to cry that his hands hurt and begged me to get him some ice for them, which I did (and for which I have never forgiven myself). I also did not leave. The next day, when I brought up the incident, he told me that I had basically enticed him to do it and that it's only natural to defend himself after what I did. He also said what he did didn't count because he was just "restraining" me. I feel like what he did was wrong, but am I partially to blame here? I mean- i helped him with his hurt hand afterwards, for god's sake. This has plagued me for years now. I don't know why I think about it so much or why it upsets me so much. Is this even domestic violence? I just want to know what you think because I respect your opinion very much. If any other amber followers have any ideas I would like to hear those too. Thanks.

This is MOST DEFINITELY domestic violence, and honey, the second he laid a hand on me, I would left. Actually, let me correct myself. If someone EVER even so much as threatens to hurt me, PEACE OUT. It’s over.

Now, I understand the getting him ice, because if you are anything like me, you are very sympathetic and nurturing, so it’s hard to turn your back on someone with a problem…but he is/was your problem. You have to think of your well-being first.

I’m glad that this man is no longer a part of your life (or at least that’s what I gathered). He was toxic and you deserve much better. No one should have to put up with any of what you did, yet so many do (and worse). Don’t feel bad about what you did, and you are not to blame for any of it. He has his demons, and they unfortunately came out at you. You have done exactly what you needed to do and get away from that situation.

<3

6:10 pm  •  24 June 2011

Anonymous asked: I already invaded amber's ask box, but I was wondering if you have any fat sex tips/advice? what are some of your favorite positions or locations to have sex?

Sorry it took me a minute to get to this.

In general, my advice for fat sex/any sex, is just to let loose and enjoy yourself. That is the only way you’ll truly get the full experience. Otherwise you’ll be too busy thinking and worrying.

As far as fat sex, I’m usually the only fat one in the equation, so what I recommend for that is to find the positions that you are most comfortable in and that get the job done. Mine tend to be doggy and cowgirl. Easy access and hits the spot. Missionary is great as well, but you will probably need to do some propping up with pillows under your hips. And your legs can start hurting/get awkward depending on how you have them positioned. I personally like to wrap them around my partner and pull him closer, and he likes it too. Throwing your legs over their shoulders is also a really nice option.

Don’t be afraid to say if something is uncomfortable and work to find something that is. Also, don’t think that you’re going to break something. So sit on his face, ride him hard, get that fat all up in his business. He wants it, obviously, so don’t let your insecurities and fears spoil the moment.

Like I said, let loose and get busy, darling. Be uninhibited and get yours!

6:00 pm  •  17 May 2011

evilandangel asked: So, this is a "Love" question... *sigh* so I met this guy at a club on January 28th and we've spent every waking minute texting, (or talking on phone), every weekend together since and sometimes I drive(which is 1 hour away) up during the week just so we can cuddle at night. (which means I have to leave at 5a.m. to drive home for work)...

I'm afraid to become boyfriend/girlfriend. Last year I was left my my fiance a month before we were to get married. We had been together for over five years.

The guy I'm currently "seeing" (we are not dating) is dealing with ex issues.

Part of me is falling in love. Like...I want to tell him but I don't know if it's too soon...or??


-confused.

From my experience, which is a bit similar to your story, the biggest thing I have to tell you is be careful. But I also want to add that you should listen to your heart. You may get hurt, but if there is truly LOVE there, then you will be resilient and things will work out for the best. I know this all sounds horribly cliche, but perhaps the reason why it does is because it actually holds some truth.

Now as far as you being afraid to become committed, I think it actually would be better to wait for commitment when he has his ex issues figured out, and it sounds like you may have some too after what you went through last year. So I’d enjoy what you have and let the rest unfold naturally. Don’t try and rush anything because that will more than likely just put an awkward rift between you and him, especially if he’s not on the same page yet.

It really does suck holding it in, but sometimes it’s better to take baby steps than to go for the grandiose gesture.

Hope that helps a bit. <3

10:14 pm  •  16 May 2011  •  1 note

The ever lovely, strong, and opinionated Amber has a wonderful advice blog over at Amber’s Advice. Be sure to check her out, too.

http://ambersadvice.tumblr.com/

9:47 pm  •  16 May 2011

Anonymous asked: Have you ever been on a diet/workout plan? I know you had mentioned having a condition which made you gain weight rapidly, but was this always the case? I'm constantly moving from one "fad" diet to another and all that happens is I drop a few pounds quick then gain gain them all back plus some. I'm not a fan of working out at all I hate getting sweaty and don't want people watching me get my cardio on. Haha I was wondering if you had any tips or knew of anything that has worked for you in the past.

I’ve never been on any diet/workout plans, even though people have tried to get me to. What has worked for me is simply just watching my food intake by eating smaller portions. But I’m also on two different medications that lower my appetite as well.

As far as working out…well…psh. I hate it. When your job keeps you on your feet on hard concrete floors, your joints and feet don’t really feel up to doing more moving around and having more pressure on them afterwards. Generally, I just do a lot of random dancing around, which actually isn’t a totally bad way to get a bit of cardio in. And if you have a pool, swimming is a really great option. I also used to do some Tae Bo and it was easy and fun. Maybe try some Zumba or go around pretending to knock out some haters? Throwin’ some blows? I just try to get creative with it so it doesn’t seem so bad.

And I just want to add that these fad diets are USELESS. You will continue in the pattern you’re in already. You will lose weight, but you’ll simply just put it all back on once you stop. It’s not a long term solution. The only way to lose weight in the long term is to eat better, be active, and just try and stay healthy. No pill or diet is going to be able to help without you continuing to use it for the rest of your life. It’s just about better habits.

2:22 pm  •  14 May 2011